This post will be a little different than the ones I usually write. Because I want this to be a fair and honest blog about boudoir as a couple, I asked my wife a few questions about boudoir and photography so you can get her perspective too.
Q: What are your thoughts about boudoir? Both good and bad.
A: I definitely have mixed feelings about it. I’ve never been fond of images of myself and I rarely feel confident about my looks, mostly seeing myself as average or boring. And as I get older I struggle with maintaining a healthy weight more and more. So yeah, striping down to pose in my undies can be pretty terrifying and even feel downright awful at times.
On the good days it can be a fun bonding experience between the two of us or a chance to relax and have fun.
As an art form, I think it is highly personal and should be kept as such to maintain its integrity. It's not something that necessarily should be shared with the world but it is certainly not something to be ashamed of either. Women have spent a lot of history being shoved into the corner and made to feel less than. I think this is one way we can learn to love ourselves again and start to see the value in who we are as raw, earthy, human, women.
Q: What do you remember about our first shoot?
A: It was pretty much a blur. There was definitely some uncertainty on what to expect for both of us. The first time doing anything can be a little awkward but it was still a good time going through the process and spending time together as a couple.
Q: What is your favorite image from our shoots throughout the years?
A: Honestly, I’m not sure I've even seen them all. I can think of two that I really like though. Both are portraits, one is a close up we did at the park and the other was at a hotel getting ready for an evening out.
Q: Do you have a shoot idea that you haven’t told me about yet?
A: Um, I really haven’t thought about it since that's your thing. Off the top of my head, a camping outdoor themed shoot could be fun. A quiet (private) campsite in the woods, perhaps with a stream nearby, would suit us well.
Q: What’s it like being married to a photographer?
A: I think that depends on what we are doing and what the intent is. When we are out hiking, for example, I think it can help us slow down and pay more attention to what's around us. It can be a family activity to look for potential subjects, oh hey check out these flowers or there’s a butterfly.
Doing portrait/boudoir sessions gets more complicated. If I feel well that day and/or I’ve had time to prepare, I don’t mind being your model so much and it can be fun. The days when I’m not at my best, however, it can make me feel very uncomfortable and self-conscious.
Sometimes, it's letting you do your thing and hanging around patiently waiting for you and other times it feels very overwhelming fitting it in with all the other expectations and responsibilities I have as a wife and mother while also balancing auto-immune troubles.
Q: When I first came to you about starting the website, did you like the idea right away or did it take you some time to get used to it?
A: It was very confusing. I want to be as supportive as I can in your endeavors but at the same time the idea of pictures of me floating around the internet was terrifying. Time spent talking about what your goals were, why you wanted to do it, and what expectations you had of me, both in regards to using photos and what role you hoped I’d play in putting the website together, helped me to feel more confident that it could be a good thing and that you were doing it for the right reasons.
Q: Any advice for other couples that are getting into boudoir and photography together?
A: Be patient with each other. Listen to each other's expectations, concerns and fears and respect that it's all perfectly valid. Being willing to work through those things can bring you closer together as a couple and help you decide if doing boudoir is right for you.
A Message to My Wife
I just want to say “Thank You Honey.” I know how hard things like this are for you and I appreciate you doing this and everything else you do to help keep this site running.